Lice
by MeganKoumori
Summary: What happens to toys when their kid gets lice? Nothing good...
1. Chapter 1

1:

* * *

"_Lice," _said the deep voiced TV announcer. _"Just the name sends terror into the heart of every parent, teacher, and child. Lice, those blood feeding little parasites who invade our hair…and our homes …"_

It was a cold, windy, rainy day in March. The toys sat in front of the TV, watching a documentary. _"There are four suborders of lice:" _continued the announcer. _"__Rhyncophthirina,__ Ischnocera, Amblycera, and of course, Anoplura, more commonly known as Head Lice. Here is Anoplura up close." _The TV flashed a close up of a brown insect crawling through hair.

"EWWW!" Said all the toys together.

Woody was watching intently. "I'm glad Andy doesn't have lice."

Buzz, sitting next to him, nodded. "Let's just hope he never gets it."

Jessie was on her knees peering at the screen. "You better hope he never gets it," she said. "Or we're screwed."

"Jess, don't say 'screwed.'" Woody sighed.

She turned around. "Don't you guys know what happens to toys when a kid gets lice?" They shook their heads. "Emily's Cousin Jojo had lice. Everything gets shoved into bags, including _toys._ For days."

There was a collective gasp. "For _days?"_ Rex cried.

"Until the lice die."

"That's awful!" Said Potato Head.

"I DON'T WANNA BE SHOVED IN A BAG!" Rex wailed. "I'm claustrophobic!"

"_Each year, lice affect thousands of people." _said the TV. "_It seems that no one is safe…"_

_"_NO!" Screamed Rex, waving his arms and stomping his feet. "Did you hear that? No one is safe! I bet they won't just stop at bags! Don't you guys remember the _Velveteen Rabbit_? They'll throw us in the bonfire! Oh we're doomed! Doomed I say!"

Woody stood and moved over to the freaked out dinosaur. "Rex, calm down. No one is going to throw us in any fire. That was for Scarlet Fever. And besides, Andy can't have lice."

"Why not?" Asked Jessie.

"Because he showers every night _and_ he uses shampoo. He's a very clean boy."

Buzz stood up and patted Rex on the back. "See Rex? It's ok. Lice aren't going to affect these toys! Like Woody said, Andy's hair is too clean."

"_Many people think that shampooing regularly is enough to prevent lice…but they're wrong." _The toys looked at the television. _"In fact, lice prefer a clean scalp to lay their eggs in…"_

"Uh oh," said Woody.

A second later, the front door slammed and Andy's voice carried up to the second floor. _"MOMMMM!"_


	2. Chapter 2

2:

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"Ok, everyone just calm down!" Woody said into the Mic. He was standing behind the Tinker Toys podium. No one was listening. Instead the panicked toys were talking and arguing among themselves. "Hello! I'm calling this staff meeting to order!" The Cowboy tried again. With a sigh, he handed the Mic to Buzz, who gave it a loud tap. A horrible squeal filled the air, making everyone cover their ears.

"Thanks," Woody said, taking back the microphone. "As all of you are aware, Andy has a case of head lice. I know, this is bad, but we just need to keep our cool. There will be some stuff ahead that not all of us will like. Things like washing, spraying, and yes," he looked at Rex. "Being put into bags." The crowd started to shout angrily. "It's just for a few days! Hey, don't get mad at me! I don't make these rules!"

"In the meantime," Buzz added. "We need to do a lice check among ourselves."

Hamm pushed his way to the front. "You can't be serious! All of us?"

"All of us!"

"That's not fair!" Said Potato Head. You should just be checking the toys that have places to hide lice! Like…like toys with hair!"

All eyes suddenly turned to Jessie, who was sitting with her arm around Bullseye. "What?"

* * *

"LET ME GO YA VARMITS!" Jessie screamed as the toys held her down. She tried to wriggle away but Buzz and the others held firm. Woody had taken her hat off and was combing through the red yarn with a Popsicle stick.

"Jessie, stop moving!" He ordered. "The sooner you quit fighting the sooner we can be done!"

"I don't have lice, now leggo!" She hollered. Breaking free, she pushed the others away and took off like a bolt of lightning.

Woody pointed. "Don't let her get away!" The others began to give chase. Buzz, being the fastest, caught her first.

"Jess, come on!" He said soothingly. "We're all going to be checked…"

Jessie glowered darkly. "Well you can just find someone else to get to first base with tonight, Partner." She said quietly.

Buzz paused then turned to the others. "You know, if Jessie said she doesn't have lice then she probably doesn't have lice!"

"_Buzz!"_ Woody snapped. "Man, you're whipped!" He stomped to Jessie. "Hold still!" Jessie made a face but finally allowed him to inspect her head.

"Well?"

Woody pulled the stick away. "She's lousy."

Jessie slunk dejectedly to the floor. "Oh no!"

One by one each toy got into line and let Woody comb them over. He shook his head. "Sorry Rex. It looks like you've got them too…"

Rex shrieked. "GET THEM OFF! GET THEM OFF!" He toppled over.

Buzz walked over and sat down next to Jessie who had her knees pulled up to her face. "I can't believe I have lice," she muttered into them.

"Aw Jess, don't be blue." He put an arm around her and gave a squeeze. "Lice or not, you're still the best girl in Andy's room." She smiled and put her head on his shoulder. Buzz paused. "Lice aren't contagious are they?"

Jessie shoved him away. "Buzz Lightyear, for the love of…"


	3. Chapter 3

3:

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Andy looked in his mirror, rubbing his newly buzzed hair. "I look like Curly from the Three Stooges!"

Mom was bent over a bag, placing toys inside. "Your hair will grow back. In the meantime we've got to do everything to get rid of the lice, not to mention prevent your sister from getting them."

"I hate lice!" He grumbled.

"I know…" Mom grabbed Woody off the bed. "Tell you what, I'll order from Pizza Planet tonight and…"

Andy rushed over in alarm. "No! You can't put Woody in the bag! Leave him out!"

"I'm sorry Hon, but both the book and the doctor say all toys must be packed up into order to kill the bugs." Andy sighed as Mom placed Woody inside and zipped the bag closed. "As I was saying, I'll order pizza and then we can have that strawberry ice cream I've been saving."

Andy smiled. "Sounds like a plan, Stan!"

Mom laughed. "Ok Curly, you go set the table while I call Pizza Planet!"

_"__Woo woo woo woo woo!"_ Andy shouted as he ran out of the bedroom, Mom close behind him.

As the door closed, Andy's toys began to move around. "Get your foot out of my eye!"

"But your eye's under my foot!"

"Somebody's got their parts in my back!"

Woody was upside down and with difficulty, he tried to pull himself upright. "Ok, everyone just calm down. We're going to be like this for the next few days, so…so…"

"Everyone find a comfortable position and stay in it!" Buzz ordered.

"Easy for you to say, Ranger Round-Tummy." Hamm muttered.

Woody pushed himself to the outer part of the bag. "Look, at least we're in a clear bag so we can see." Not too far away was another bag with Molly's toys. Bo was pressed against the plastic, her sheep above her head. She gave Woody a sad little wave, which he returned forlornly.

Jessie was beginning to hyperventilate. "No, no, no…" She muttered as she squeezed her eyes shut tight. "It's storage all over again…" Buzz put his arm around her comfortingly and she buried her face in his chest. Her nose hit his big red button and his wings flew out, smacking the other toys.

"OW!"

Jessie looked abashed as Buzz pushed his button to retract his wings. "Sorry."

Hamm glared. "Nice going, Jessie."

"I said I was sorry!"

"This is all your fault!" Potato Head snapped at her. "If you hadn't given Andy lice we wouldn't be in here!"

"_Oh,"_ Jessie shouted. "BLOW IT OUT YOUR BUTT FLAP!"

"Hey!" Woody moved in between them. "Stop it! Potato Head, Jessie did not give Andy lice! There's an epidemic going around the school!" The Cowgirl pulled down her eyelid and stuck her tongue out at the plastic potato. "Second, if we're going to be crammed together, we need to stop bickering! I don't want to have to hear you guys snip-snapping at each other for the entire time we're in here, got it?" Jessie and Potato Head muttered apologies. "Good."

Jessie suddenly gasped. She turned and slapped Woody across the face. He looked shocked and angry as he rubbed his cheek. "What was _that_ for?"

"You touched my butt!"

"I did not!"

"Did too!"

Buzz cleared his throat and looked a little embarrassed. "Sorry Jessie that was me. It was an accident."

"Oh," Jessie blushed then giggled as she moved closer to Buzz. "Well anytime you want to have an 'accident', Partner, you go right ahead!" Woody just rolled his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

4:

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The afternoon rain had evolved into a midnight storm. As Andy slept on fresh sheets, the wind beat against the windows, making the glass tremble in the frame.

In the bag, Jessie was lying next to Buzz, his back turned toward her as he slept. The Cowgirl, on the other hand, stared through the bag at the dark ceiling with wide awake eyes.

_It's only been six hours since we were stuffed in here but I already feel like I'm about to go crazy! _She thought._ I wanna move! I wanna jump and dance and bounce and run and everythin'! I hate havin' to stay in one spot!_

Buzz made a little snorty noise in his sleep. Her bottle green eyes slid over to him, scrutinizing his sleeping form. _How can he sleep like this? How can any of them?_

She sat up as best she could. _That's it! I can't take this anymore! I gotta get out of here, lice be…_Buzz snorted again, interrupting her thoughts. Craning her neck, Jessie looked at the top of the bag. It was the kind with a zipper seal. Could she break through it?

_Only one way to find out…_As carefully as she could, she climbed over her fellow play things, trying to avoid faces, feet, and hands, until she was underneath the top.

With her tiny hands, Jessie tried to pry the zipper open, but it was too difficult to get a good grip on either side. She looked around for another idea. _I can't rip the bag open, not from the inside! Boy, that'd be a dead giveaway. But I can't stay in here! NO! _She clutched her temples, squeezing her eyes shut as she ground her teeth._ I won't be storage fodder! No no no! Not again!_

In frustration, Jessie punched the top of the bag. A little crack appeared in the zipper seam. Realizing what she had done, Jessie struck the top again. And again, and again, until the split was big enough for her to stick her hands through so she could push the sides open. Wriggling her lithe little body through, the Cowgirl took a deep breath of air. _Freedom! Yee-hah! _Pulling the rest of herself up, she placed her bottom on the bag exterior and slid down. _I dunno where I'm gonna go, but it sure as Sunday ain't gonna be in there!_

Inside the bag, Buzz rolled over. His arm flopped to where Jessie had once lay. With a sleepy smile on the Ranger's mug, it tried to snuggle the empty space. His eyes opened. "Jess?" Looking up, he saw the open bag. "Oh no…"


	5. Chapter 5

5:

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As Jessie fumbled through the dark downstairs, she wrung her hands nervously as she looked around. _Maybe I shouldn't have…No, don't be stupid. Anythin's better than the box, I mean bag. Box, bag, they're both the same._

Occasionally a lightning strike would briefly illuminate the hallway in which she was standing, but for the most part, the Cowgirl was kept in total blackness. Outside, the wind was screaming, and it made her stomach tighten.

_I've snuck down here before a million times, so why am I as jumpy as a skunk in a deodorizer factory? It must be the storm. Stupid storm. C'mon Jess, just a few more feet to the livin' room and then you can watch some TV…_

She bumped into something warm. Slapping her hand over her mouth, she willed herself not to scream. Bending down, she rubbed her hand over the thing. Short, coarse hair, tummy rising and sinking? She felt relief. "It's just you, Buster."

The dog sat up. "Sorry I woke you." Jessie pushed her finger to her lips. "Shhh! Think ya can help a fugitive to safety?" In response, Buster gave her a lick. "Great! And don't worry, Little Critter!" She said, grasping his collar as she climbed his back. "Dogs and cats can't catch people lice!"

As Buster disappeared into the living room, Buzz jumped off the bottom stair. "Jessie?" He whispered as he looked around. "Jessie, where are you?"

* * *

Even though Buster wasn't allowed on the couch, Jessie allowed him to jump up with her anyway, his doggy face resting on her lap as she watched the television. _"Do you know what you get if you feed a Tribble too much?" "A fat Tribble." "No…"_

Suddenly the screen flickered and went snowy. "No…" Jessie picked up the remote and flipped through the stations. Snow on every channel. "Rats! It must be the storm!" She clicked off the TV and flung the remote to the side. "Well now what do I do?" She asked, looking at Buster. His giant yellow eyes rolled up at her quizzically.

The living room door creaked open. "Shoot!" Buster jumped off the couch as Jessie scrambled between a pillow and the arm of the sofa. Peeking over the edge of the arm, she could see whoever had come in wasn't tall enough for her line of vision. _Another toy…_

_Dangnabit I've been discovered! Prolly lookin' for me to come back! Maybe they're all lookin' for me! _She suddenly had a vision of Andy's other toys with pitchforks and torches. _Well they can forget it! No one's draggin' me back to that bag!_

_No choice, _Jessie thought as she climbed onto the sofa arm. _I gotta make a run for it! _She crouched down like a tiger.

On the floor, Buzz peeked under the couch. "Jessie, are you under there?"

"_YAAAAHHHH!" _Someone screamed. Buzz looked up just in time to see someone leaping from the couch. In a moment he was pinned to the floor. "_You'll never take me alive!" _He heard a voice shout as he struggled to get free. The person held on tight._ "Never never never!" _There was a pause. "Buzz?" Buzz managed to look over his shoulder.

"Jessie?"

She narrowed her eyes, not releasing him. "Where are the other guys?"

"Still sleeping I imagine," he replied. "I'm alone." Slowly Jessie loosened her grip, letting him free. They stood up. "I can't believe you broke out of the bag!" The Ranger said as Jessie crossed her arms with a grouchy pout. "You could contaminate the whole house!"

"Well you broke out too!"

"To look for you!" For a moment, they just stared at each other.

Jessie's face softened. "Are ya mad at me, Buzz?"

He sighed. "No. I understand why you did it. You shouldn't have, but I understand why."

Jessie turned away. "You have no idea what it's like, not knowin' if you'll ever see sunshine again."

"We're in a clear bag."

"That's not what I'm talkin' 'bout," she said, not turning back. "You don't know…you'll prolly never know…what it's like to wake up in darkness everyday. To live ten years but feel like you've lived a hundred. To never even be touched…" She shuddered, then faced him, her jaw set firmly. "Well, I do! And I don't want it!"

She started toward the living door and Buzz followed. "So what are you going to do? You can hide out until all the lice are gone, but then what? You come out of hiding, let Andy find you, he'll think you were left out by mistake, and then you'll be put back in the bag all over again!" Jessie stopped. "And this time, you won't have anyone with you. We'll all be lice free and back to our normal lives, but you'll be stuck by yourself." She turned but didn't make eye contact. "Well?"

Jessie sighed. "Are you sure that everythin'll turn out all right?"

Buzz nodded as he took her hand. "I promise. You'll never have to be alone again."

Jessie smiled and squeezed his hand. "C'mon Partner. Let's go back to Andy's room."


	6. Chapter 6

6:

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Woody stretched. "It sure is good to be out and about again." Andy's toys were back in front of the television. Bo stood behind the sitting Cowboy, holding onto him tightly around the neck. They exchanged smiles.

It was a few days later and the lice scare was already becoming a memory. Buzz and Jessie sat side by side, his arm around her shoulders. Neither had told any of the others about Jessie's attempted escape. The toys, seeing that everyone was present and accounted for, assumed that the bag hadn't been sealed tightly enough and simply popped open on its own.

"Well I for one am glad that this is all behind us!" Buzz declared.

"Me too," Jessie agreed. "It was silly to panic like we did."

"Like _you guys_ did," Woody muttered.

Jessie ignored him as she continued. "Kids get sick and we toys just gotta learn to roll with it! Not lose our heads!"

On the TV the deep voiced announcer began to speak. _"The Bubonic Plague. The Black Death. The __Great Pestilence. __Whatever you call, the disease caused by the bacterium, __Yersinia pestis, is a swift, deadly killer responsible for wiping out over half of Europe between the years…"_

Jessie jumped up, terror on her face. "IT'S ANOTHER EPIDEMIC!" She hollered.

Andy's toys screamed and began to stampede in all directions, leaving only Woody, Buzz, and Bo in front of the TV. The Cowboy just groaned. "We've got to stop watching documentaries…"


End file.
